Humility

Few things in this world make me overly anxious, it’s just not in my personality. One of the things that does, however, is having a deadline to meet and not having any clue how to make sure that everything is in place by that day. That is the situation that Liz and I now find ourselves in. We have set a date for returning to Tanzania, but have had difficulty in raising the funds needed to return and live for a year. To be honest, right now we have enough for the place tickets and...the plane tickets (thank you to the people and churches that have provided that support, plane tickets half way around the world are not cheap). This anxiousness is what was going through my mind when we entered St. Paul United Methodist Church in Fort Smith, AR. We had been invited to speak at their Wednesday night dinner and program that they have once a month. Naturally the food was good, but Liz and I both were having trouble focusing. We stood up to share what went on at Angel House the four months we were there and why we think we need to return.


The experience that followed was humbling to say the least. Not only were our experiences and stories well received, something that feels good because they are such a part of who we are, but there was a response in the group present. The follow up questions showed real interest and then to wrap up the associate minister stood up. He started them passing the hat, actually a hat, a baseball cap, and then did something that we have not had done for us at any other church we have spoken at. The group came up and prayed for us. It was a blessing to see God doing something in that church that we felt only marginally a part of, because His actions were so clear that night. It was...humbling and reassuring. Humbling to be a part of a movement bigger than we are, humbling to be used to move people, and reassuring to know that a church can still act like a church and send us off with the thing we need the most, prayer.

Thank you St. Paul for participating in that experience with us and for the support you showed. Thank you to all the other churches and individuals who have also responded as we have shared this summer. Thank you to a God big enough to move mountains and small enough to allow us to be involved in it.

What makes humility so desirable is the marvellous thing it does to us; it creates in us a capacity for the closest possible intimacy with God.

-Monica Baldwin

Open...

In “Leading a Life with God” Daniel Wolpert does a good job comparing secular and church organizations. His conclusion is that churches look too much like secular organizations and not enough like churches. He uses Jesus as his model. He pointed out that if you look at Jesus’ ministry you will not find him forming boards, looking for buildings to occupy, or trying to invent the perfect ministry program that can then be duplicated at satellite campuses the world over. Jesus does ministry that fits the place, time, and needs of where he is. When he needed a food ministry he asked God to bless some fish and feed 5,000. When he needed to spread the word he sent his disciples out by twos with little, though specific instructions. When he wanted to preach a boat worked just as well as anywhere else for a pulpit. His focus was on God’s kingdom and not the sustaining of a program, name, or denomination.


This week Liz and I are at the Arkansas Annual Conference of the UM Church. The focus for this year is Imagination as the conference as a whole works on looking toward the future. This is a great focus, but I know from experience the resistance to change in the church and those that cannot look beyond what was, in order to see what can be. It prompts me to ask the question, what are we afraid of? Why do we have a commitment to buildings and programs? Is it that they are too comfortable and too much like home (Jesus was homeless by the way)? Do we create a “winning” program and think so much of ourselves that we think it should last forever? Does the appropriately sacred idea of an eternally faithful God make us think that nothing in the church itself should ever change?

My vision for our kids at Angel House is a world without fear, one based on faith and hope. As a church I cannot help but think that we would be better served, and more importantly would better serve God, if we could let go of what is comfortable and step out in faith that God will lead the way. To leap is scary, to go without a well supported business plan can create anxiety, and the idea of having to rely on others can make a type A, independent person like myself more than nervous. Just this past week I had to rely on others to house and transport me after my car was struck by lightning and I ended up stranded in Jackson. It was uncomfortable, but also allowed the connections of dependence that can so enrich our lives if we let them. Our lives should be lived openly and unafraid as we strive to create space for God’s kingdom without the worry of maintenance, but with only the hope of life.

Light and Darkness

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

John 1:5

As we have been speaking at different places since our return from Africa we often get a response of awe. People say, “I could never do that” or “It is amazing what you guys are doing.” To be honest this is usually the most awkward part of any presentation. Only because Liz and I see what we are doing as perfectly normal, at least as far as our faith in concerned. Now I don’t want to downplay the struggles of mission work or other people who have sacrificed much to do mission work. However, the only thing I see as special about what we do is that we wholeheartedly follow our calling or vocation in life, which granted not everyone does. It is really that simple though, not always easy, but yes, simple.

What has really impressed me during our time back though is the multiple ways in which the people we have encountered have been lights during our travels. Friends that have sat, listened, and provided good advice. Family and friends that have given us lodging, food, transportation, and been helpful in a dozen other ways as we live as nomads in the land of our birth. People have even gotten involved in helping us raise funds and awareness about Angel House. People may be amazed by what we do, but I am constantly amazed at the number of different ways the light can break through the darkness, where caring wins out over self-interest and interest over apathy. I am amazed and very thankful, because even a small project like Angel House needs a lot of people to make it work and the things Grassroots Ministry is looking into doing in the future will take even more involvement by different people and organizations. This is something that at times makes me very nervous, but after the last few weeks, I have a greater feeling assurance than ever before that the community of people who will really end up making the differences in the world have, are, and will step up, unafraid of the darkness because of their belief in the light.